So I started writing all this down in a wire bound note book and the working title was "Random Thoughts, A Computer Less Blog" then I realised, well that's not really the point of a blog and so I decided to jump in with both feet and start my own blog. I must say my inspiration came from a very unlikely source (you know how you are).
My random thought for today, or rather a question that really needs answering!
Why do some people drive as though they don't know were they are going?
This morning as I was driving to work I encountered an individual waiting in a left hand turning lane for his chance to turn. As I approached the intersection on his right he decided that he didn't actually want to turn left after all and pulled through the intersection next to me. Luckily I was in the far right lane and while I thought this was a little unsafe didn't really worry too much about it.
So we continue along and this guy is obviously in a hurry because he races ahead in order to pull into my lane. Fine, I'm not in a hurry so hey, have at 'er. The driver of this car is, from what I can tell, a young man probably really early 20's not that it matters, but were he ends up going makes sense. The green N that should be displayed is tucked in under his license plate with barely a sliver showing. So as it appears at this time he's headed in the same direction as I and makes the same right hand turn I do. Only he hops into the left lane as he turns, then seeing that traffic is a little slower in that lane moves back into the right lane. Now I'm thinking this guy is really confused. As we reach the bottom of the hill we are travelling down, the right lane splits into a right hand merge lane to take you specifically to the university in the area and that's the way he turns.
So now this has led to my query. Where was he thinking he was going when he was thinking he needed to make a left turn then changed his mind? Was he on his way to pick up a fellow student perhaps and got a text that it wasn't necessary? Not that it's any of my business what was going on, but ya, it made me wonder. When I set out in my mini-van (yeah I'm a mom) I generally have a route planned out. There has been the odd occasion were I will redirect and I'm sure the person behind me is wondering what I'm up too, but it's not like this is some anomaly it happens all this time to anyone on their path. I guess it makes me wonder, how in a split second our plans can change and that we can do one of two things; react or not react.
Life is so much like that, we spend a large part of it reacting while what we should be doing is trying to take a proactive position. Sometimes this isn't possible, things change due to circumstances beyond our control and we just react. But it's that reaction that sets in motion future events, so why not react in such a way that those events are a benefit and not detrimental.
We create our existence. We have that control, we can allow others to dictate what we do, that's our choice. When a couple marry, there is an understanding that their lives are now "one" I whole heartedly disagree with this. By buying into this theory, someone in the relationship ends up relinquishing control of the life they have only just started creating for themselves. The idea of merging to lives into one is a romantic notion designed to entice us into such unions or "partnerships". To have an equal marriage or partnership is rare, and if that's what you have then great! Keep it up. I don't think there would be a divorce statistic if this ideal actually worked. What were we thinking? When you look back through time, back to the stone age were the caveman club a potential mate over the head an dragged her by the hair back to the cave, have we change? Metaphorically no.
When I decided to leave my marriage, I basically decided to take back my life. To no longer be "told" what I should think or do. This was not a healthy relationship by any stretch of the imagination, and I knew that for years before I finally made the decision to end it. I decided that I could not see myself growing old and still likeing this individual and I wasn't going to waste another second on a lost cause. (*note we tried counciling but he decided there was nothing wrong with our marriage and ended the "unnessessary expense") Afterwards, I was accused of putting him on a different path. Well, sorry, but that's too bad. I had been dragged by the hair down his path to his cave long enough. If he found himself on a different path then he can make of it what he wants. I am no longer responsible for his life, any more than he is responsible for mine. (the kids are a whole other matter)
I can see how this can be very destructive, because we "react" we should always be looking at it from a proactive angle. What if when I got married I told my husband before we married "I have a plan for how I want my existence here on this planet to matter" He would have probably said ya OK whatever. And gone on with his "plan" because he knew he would just change it anyway. It's like thinking if you marry someone you can change them. We all know this isn't true yet we hold out hope somehow it is possible, the silly fools we are.
There are events in a persons life that will have a huge impact and change their perspective, but to change who we are at the core is a personal journey and one that you must be willing to accept and take control and ownership of. In essence we are all victims, we are victims of the circumstance of our very own lives, of what we create. We constantly put ourselves in this position because it's the easiest way to not take ownership. "It's not my fault because..." how many times in a day do we say this? We've done it since we were kids to avoid getting into trouble. But what we are setting ourselves up for is exactly what we are trying to avoid, trouble.
How did my random thought today evolve to this point? How did one individual changing his direction set in motion a series of events that may forever change his path or have absolutely no effect at all? I will never know, but it set in motion my self evaluation, and possibly a little perspective as well.
I believe life is not so much about paths but more so like a tree. We have our roots, planted firmly where we come from. The trunk represents ourselves and our beliefs, how thick your trunk is represents how strongly you defend or feel your beliefs, the branches are your paths, yes plural, they criss-cross and intertwine, sometimes they thin out to the tiniest point and you have to jump to the next branch something a little thicker and supportive, and finally the leaves, these represent the lives you affect and the lives that are a part of you, your tree can be as sparse as you wish or a full as you need, it's your tree, create it how you see it.
My tree is a huge solid Oak with it's roots planted firmly at the top of a rolling hill, it has many branches and thousands of leaves! Not that I know thousands of people, I don't but what I do know is that my actions as small as they may seem, can ultimately effect so many people without my knowledge. And knowing that, I am careful that my actions only serve a higher purpose. Sure I falter, we all do, but being aware is half the battle.
Today, I'm going to be proactive about something before I need to "react", right now I don't know what that is, but I hope I recognise the opportunity when it presents itself.
Take care of YOU so you can take care of those you care about!
With much love and light,
Tammy.
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