Why Now?

Today I had the honour and privilege of a heart wrenching conversation with a friend from my distant past. It was a conversation that has me processing what we discussed and trying to fathom the utter crap this person has endured over the years. The gap has closed over a twenty six year chasm and I find myself in an interesting position of being able to gladly offer assistance on their path to wellness.

Once upon a short time this person was very important to me, today I discovered they still are. I sit here feeling that somehow I missed something very important, a task perhaps? One that may have saved this person undue anguish and hurt. I know we don't always control our destiny. We make choices and decisions that will change our paths forever. This individual made such a decision so many years ago, and while it wasn't my choice there wasn't much I could do about it. I wonder how different their life would have been had that decision not been made.

There is no fault, and no blame. There is forgiveness and compassion. There is a sadness knowing that I could have prevented so much if given the chance so many years ago, or could I have? There was a reason our paths went separate ways as much as there is a reason they have crossed once more. I know my place in this world, it has taken me many many years to accept it and I embrace it with all my heart. I have been given the gift of healing. Not in the way Jesus did it, I don't work miracles I can't cure decease. I do however have the ability to see what others might miss and I know what to say and how to say it in order to help. I have specific training that assists an individual with their own healing. I have been guided to do this, so I do. No questions asked.

I believe this individual has come back into my life because they are, for lack of a better word, broken. Not by anything they may have done to themselves but by what another individual has inflicted on them over an extended period of time. I know I can help this healing process, even from a distance. I know I have heart enough for both of us, I can spare some, and it's is my absolute pleasure to be able to do this. I offered and it was accepted and I will focus as much energy as possible on helping. My heart is temporarily reserved for this individuals well being. No worries for my family, it's big enough and strong enough to get the job done, without compromise to them.

This heart felt blog is my way of committing to assisting this person, from afar, to heal the horrific wounds inflicted. I could have prevented this, I feel it in my bones. But that wasn't part of the plan. I'm here now and this is the plan. Maybe I'm assuming too much, maybe this isn't what is intended but I can't help but wonder, why after twenty six years did this conversation occur? This is what I'm here for, this is not the first time I have been called on for help, even if indirectly. This individual did not ask for help, I offered because I saw it is needed. This individual asked for much more by not asking, and I will gladly give. I feel their pain, I feel their anguish, it's not mine to own it's mine to heal.

It is with great humility that I accept this task and although it may take time, I know this person is destine to a happy healthy existence and anything I can do to assist is only a message away. If only for a quick "hi, just checking in". I can do this work behind the scenes, no need for constant contact, unless it's needed that is.

With much love, light and maybe an answer to, why now?
Tammy.