Now You've Done It

Originally I was going to call this biting off more than you can chew, but after some thought I think the new title is far more fitting because we do it to ourselves.


So, my ex, as some of you may know, is a finishing carpenter. He does the odd side job and before Christmas took on a renovation for someone who knows someone in the company he works for full time. Well, they were hoping to have it done by Christmas and well, as these things go they should have started in October. As of today, he's still not finished.


Well, at the beginning of January his crew, (at his day job) were informed that they would be working 10hr days as well as 5hrs on Saturday in order to meet the March occupancy on the high rise they are finishing. This would normally be not a problem as they generally slow down this time of year. However, with this side job and having the kids this week he has definitely bitten off more than he can chew. Hindsight is 20/20 and had he known this would be a problem he likely wouldn't have agreed to the side job. Yah, right he said that the last time too. Unfortunately it's the kids who suffer in the long run.

So why does he do it? Why do any of us? I think it's the inability to say no. Or in part the inability to say no. We seem to think we have unlimited time when we over commit, yet really we know differently. I used to over commit, and what I found is it's really not worth it. The stress and anxiety that goes along with trying to meet obligations. I've learned to spread it out. He would have too, except the people he's doing the side job keep adding things and in his case, he can't say no. Yet, he has no problem saying no to me or the kids which is interesting, but a whole other topic so I'll drop that one for now.

There are only so many waking hours in a day and if you try to fit it all in you are likely to burn out. It's unsustainable eventually somethings got to give. When we over encumber ourselves for any length of time we can become physically ill, you are exhausted and your immune system is compromised so WHAM! you get sick. And all you had to do to prevent this was say no? Why didn't you? Again, hind sight right? Well we are all guilty and we are all responsible for out actions so if you want to burn the candle at both ends by all means go ahead, some people are actually experts at this and quite capable. However these people are least likely to complain about it.

Although I have pointed out that he has bitten off more than he can chew, it remains to be seen if he would actually take my advice and just say no. But hey, that's ok, I get to say "I told you so" when it burns him out and he gets sick.

So with all this what have we determined? If you continue to over do it your body will step in and put an end to it, if you don't have the sense to stop it yourself. So keep going, it's not going to be too long before you can't anymore anyway. Oh and good luck.

With much love, light and spare time.
Tammy.