So up until very recently I was unmotivated to do much of anything. Aside from the day to day activities that one performs without much thought I was well, in a rut.
That's the key, I was, I'm not anymore! I recently started following a 'game changing series' that I find extremely useful. I was searching for some sort of programme that would help me get organized and stumbled upon this series which has renewed my 'game plan'. As I follow the daily posts I am slowly changing my game and embarking on an exciting new adventure.
A good friend of mine owns a new age book store in Coquitlam. We met at her store shortly after she opened as I was drawn to it because of the type of store it is. Everything about it was welcoming and the owner and I hit it off right away. We probably knew each other in a past life. Needless to say, over the last four and a half years as a patron of the store I have met and cemented many friendships all of which I cherish. I had the privilege of taking the spiritual development course as well as my Reiki I and II at the store, and now I am pleased as punch to say...It's my turn to teach others!
Now to back track a bit. When my grandmother passed away suddenly and unexpectedly of a massive heart attack on September 2nd 1990 I was devastated. Understandably so, I was very close to both my grandparents. What also occurred that day was what can only be described as a reevaluation of my beliefs. Yes, I was angry at God for taking her but deeper than that I questioned every aspect of my beliefs. What if my very devout Catholic grandmother was just floating around in the darkness with no where to go? What if there is no heaven? The thought of her dieing and discovering that all she believed was just a bunch of stories made up centuries ago was upsetting to say the least.
Thus began my quest for answers. I started with what I knew and after exhausting my search for the age old question of life after death I discovered Rosemary Altea. Rosemary is a very well know medium and healer from England, who has written several books about messages from spirit. I know it sounds hokey but when you are going through what I was going through any confirmation that maybe I could connect with my grandmother just once more well, you jump at the opportunity.
Rosemary offered a glimpse of what might be. And now almost 20 years later I can confidently say all those who have passed are still so very close and every now and then they let us know they are here. Be it the scent of a familiar perfume or a song on the radio just when your mind wanders to the past with a particular loved one. Or in the case of my grandparents they leave dimes. Yup that's right dimes. In one year I collected 30 dimes that mysteriously appeared. One such dime appeared on my bed moments after I finished making it. I had just finished smoothing the covers and I looked down and there was a dime. It couldn't have been there prior to my making the bed because I very aggressively shook out the covers before smoothing them and anything that was on the bed would have gone flying.
I'm not the only one in my family who finds dimes either, my sister, my mom, my aunt, my cousin, we all find dimes and in the oddest places. Coincidence? Maybe, but I like to think they are little reminders that they are always with us. I love finding dimes. Heads it's Nanny tails it's Grandpa. BTW the dimes didn't start appearing until after my grandfather passed away in 2005. I recall my grandpa telling me about the Bluenose when I was younger and I think he figured it would be how I would recognize who was sending them.
As my journey progressed I took various metaphysical courses, and have read a considerable amount of books on the various methods of connection. The world of mediumship is for the most part misunderstood. Everyone I have ever encountered who practices the different modalities have been what I would call light workers. I have never encountered someone who is evil or a devil worshiper and more often than not the mediums I know have a deep connection and belief in God and Spirit.
As for my own beliefs, yes I believe in God and Jesus, I also believe in the 'group' of enlightened individuals known as the Ascended Masters. I also believe that our loved ones are always present and it takes only the thought of them to bring them to us. I believe it is possible to connect to spirit and that this connection is only possible for those who are working towards the higher good and that any negative influence is blocked to prevent unwanted influence. So in other words there never will be anything other than positive enlightened experiences. Nothing scary or unsafe.
Now back to why I'm so enthusiastic. I have the honour and privilege of being able to teach others all that I have learned over the years. Am I qualified? Well up until very recently I might have said I'm not ready, but after letting go of my fear, I know I am ready, and yes I am qualified. My own personal path is that of healing. I am for lack of a better term a 'medical intuitive' I can 'see' injury on the inside of the body. It's an odd thing and in the beginning I would just feel the other persons pain or discomfort and after working out the kinks I can visualise the issue and give insight as to what the problem likely is. Much to my delight I have had many confirmed incidents once the individual gets to the doctor and has the issue dealt with. This along with my Reiki and energy healing it is my hope to help others balance their energy to enable healing. I cannot cure decease, I am not God and I do not profess to be.
The first four week series of classes will be on meditation for beginners. I have put together a brief manual and will guide the students through the process of clearing, balancing, relaxing, grounding and connecting. I'm looking forward to sharing such a wonderful self healing experience with people who maybe would have never before considered meditation. I have already had people asking me about this and confirming what I had hoped, that there are individuals out there who are looking for a means to helping them relax balance and focus. Yes I am ready for this.
The next course in the series will likely be about Chakras, our energy centres. It is a great follower to meditation because we will touch on the chakras and how to balance and clear them. This however is only the tip of the iceberg and I'm hoping there is as much interest in chakras as there is in meditation.
And so as this journey begins I am so excited and happy to be able to bring this course series to interested open minded people. I look forward to seeing them develop their own skills and use them to better their own existence. I know it's helped me through some pretty low periods and highs as well.
With much, love light and enthusiasm!
Tammy.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Update Time
So in a previous blog I was faced with a dilemma. It was my "Change Of Scene, Or Just A Change Of Scenery?" Jan 13, 2010. Well, I have an update.
So I spoke to my partner about the vacation dilemma I was facing and at first he was of the opinion that if we couldn't afford for all of us to go then we should wait and save until it is possible. Well, I was disappointed of course, but agreed and let it go. Then a few days later after hearing about the death of a friend he suggested that I should take my kids on a vacation with my best friend and her son. This is something she and I spoke about years ago but neither of us could swing it. Well, now we both can, and we are!
I have checked on line for deals, and it's really disappointing how much it costs to fly to and stay in Anaheim for three for 5 days. That is if you fly from Canada. I found that if we leave from Bellingham WA. we are looking at about a 50% savings and in some cases even more. So, we have to drive to Bellingham, big deal, for that kind of deal, I'd walk. The plan is to go during spring break to Disneyland and try to get to Universal Studios if we can. I'm going to see if we can get American Idol tickets too but I'm not counting on that.
I am so excited about this, I can't believe it may actually happen. I say may, because I haven't booked anything yet. My boss wants to use his credit card so he gets the air miles and the company gets the write off, so I have to wait until he's back on Feb. 1st. The nice thing is, this is so within our budget we can do the 'extras' that I was worried I wouldn't be able to afford.
My daughter knows about it because my friends son told her. He didn't know he wasn't supposed to say anything. But my son doesn't know, and I'm not going to tell him until the day we leave for the airport. He won't be able to handle the excitement so mum's the word.
As for my partner and his kids? Well, he gets two weeks vacation in the summer and has his kids the entire time. He is hoping to be able to take them to visit his brother in Napa and maybe go to Legoland which is close by. I hope they are able to do this too, it would be good for him and his kids to have time together. Besides, with our two dogs I don't know who we would wrangle into taking care of them, someone has to stay home.
So, this year it will be separate vacations and that's ok because if I make my stretch goal this year it's a cruise for two! So we will get our 'adults only' vacation sooner or later, and I'm looking forward to that too.
With much love, light and Mickey Mouse Ears!
Tammy.
So I spoke to my partner about the vacation dilemma I was facing and at first he was of the opinion that if we couldn't afford for all of us to go then we should wait and save until it is possible. Well, I was disappointed of course, but agreed and let it go. Then a few days later after hearing about the death of a friend he suggested that I should take my kids on a vacation with my best friend and her son. This is something she and I spoke about years ago but neither of us could swing it. Well, now we both can, and we are!
I have checked on line for deals, and it's really disappointing how much it costs to fly to and stay in Anaheim for three for 5 days. That is if you fly from Canada. I found that if we leave from Bellingham WA. we are looking at about a 50% savings and in some cases even more. So, we have to drive to Bellingham, big deal, for that kind of deal, I'd walk. The plan is to go during spring break to Disneyland and try to get to Universal Studios if we can. I'm going to see if we can get American Idol tickets too but I'm not counting on that.
I am so excited about this, I can't believe it may actually happen. I say may, because I haven't booked anything yet. My boss wants to use his credit card so he gets the air miles and the company gets the write off, so I have to wait until he's back on Feb. 1st. The nice thing is, this is so within our budget we can do the 'extras' that I was worried I wouldn't be able to afford.
My daughter knows about it because my friends son told her. He didn't know he wasn't supposed to say anything. But my son doesn't know, and I'm not going to tell him until the day we leave for the airport. He won't be able to handle the excitement so mum's the word.
As for my partner and his kids? Well, he gets two weeks vacation in the summer and has his kids the entire time. He is hoping to be able to take them to visit his brother in Napa and maybe go to Legoland which is close by. I hope they are able to do this too, it would be good for him and his kids to have time together. Besides, with our two dogs I don't know who we would wrangle into taking care of them, someone has to stay home.
So, this year it will be separate vacations and that's ok because if I make my stretch goal this year it's a cruise for two! So we will get our 'adults only' vacation sooner or later, and I'm looking forward to that too.
With much love, light and Mickey Mouse Ears!
Tammy.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
F.U. CANCER!
I originally posted this back in January after the passing of a friend and remarkable woman. I'm re posting it now because someone else I know is facing the same devil we call cancer. This is for you Dejah! You are one tough bugger and YOU WILL BEAT THIS! You are better and stronger and you can win, stay positive! And so I wrote...
F.U. CANCER! You bastard no one wants you here, go back to the hell you emerged from and live an eternity with the pain you inflict on so many. We will fight you until you are nothing more than a bad memory! We will be victorious because we believe we are stronger and better and far more deserving than you could ever pretend to be.
You are NOT going to continue to devastate families. You are NOT going to hurt anyone any more. Just leave, you are UNWANTED. We will find a cure, your days are numbered and you will not survive. You do not deserve the lives you claim you will be stopped dead in your tracks. We will be victorious, heed my words YOU ARE DONE!
OK, deep breath, shake it off, center, focus. I know I can't just demand cancer go back were it came from, it's not human. If it were human however, I would have no problem beating the crap out of it for all the pain and suffering it has caused. Oh, and the endless suffering I would condemn it too. I would have absolutely NO remorse for it's deserved suffering. I don't like the word hate, I was taught to not hate but dislike. Well, cancer I HATE YOU! You have taken far too many innocent lives, and the ones you've touched but did not take, they live in fear of your return every day of their lives, and that's a hell no man, woman or child should ever be forced endure, because of the sick pleasure you take in tormenting them.
I have lost friends and family to cancer, and while I understand it's not always a battle that can be won, every single person faced with this fight does exactly that, fight. Some win and survive, some don't. It is a battle only they can fight, their families and friends can only stand by and cheer them on, offer support and feel absolutely helpless. It's heart breaking to think of children and grandchildren who will grow up without their moms, dads or grandparents. Or parents who's child is taken far too soon. It's heart breaking for life long friends to loose someone who is so much a part of them that the void left is unfillable. Death is as much a part of us as life is, yet to have your life pulled out from under you by such an ugly disease that just for the fun of it can take years to do it's job is so utterly UNFAIR.
Ya, I know life is unfair, but when you reflect on the devastation cancer causes this would be the one thing I think when it's OK to not have to just suck it up because life isn't fair. Why have the researchers not found a cure? What are they missing. I used to believe that it was the pharmaceutical companies who don't want a cure found. Yet with all the fund raising and awareness we still cannot conquer it in every case. Is research really being hampered by corporations only interested in making money off the suffering of cancer fighters? Are we really such a heartless society? I really hope not. I pray for a cure for all cancers, I pray it's found sooner than later. I pray that every single soul on this planet can be armed and ready with a simple vaccine so the slimy cancer beast can be easily defeated before it can touch any of us.
I'm sad and angry and disappointed and yet, I'm hopeful. I hope for a cure, I hope for those who battle daily that they conquer, that they are victorious. That's what they deserve, they do not deserve to be ravaged by cancer. I am so very grateful for my own health and the health of my children. I know if ever I am faced with the need to battle, I will with all my might. I will not give up or give in. I will cheer on and support anyone I know who is fighting this fight and I will continue to pray for a cure. I will beg and plead for lives to be spared, not for the life alone, but for the lives that will be devastated by their passing. I know I am only one of many who are currently crying out for help, but our voices combined surely must be loud enough to be heard, surely.
I HATE CANCER and the devastation it causes. It's the crap the devil scrapes of the bottom of his shoe onto society, and leaves for us to clean up. We will continue to fight, and maybe one day, we can put down our battle gear and just be. Right now, at this very moment please take a minute to reflect on the fighters you know, the ones who have fought and won, and those who have passed to eternal peace. Take a moment to be truly grateful for your own health, and the health of your loved ones. Say a prayer for those who are in the midst of battle and send them all your strength, they need it.
With much love, light and a cancer free world.
Tammy.
F.U. CANCER! You bastard no one wants you here, go back to the hell you emerged from and live an eternity with the pain you inflict on so many. We will fight you until you are nothing more than a bad memory! We will be victorious because we believe we are stronger and better and far more deserving than you could ever pretend to be.
You are NOT going to continue to devastate families. You are NOT going to hurt anyone any more. Just leave, you are UNWANTED. We will find a cure, your days are numbered and you will not survive. You do not deserve the lives you claim you will be stopped dead in your tracks. We will be victorious, heed my words YOU ARE DONE!
OK, deep breath, shake it off, center, focus. I know I can't just demand cancer go back were it came from, it's not human. If it were human however, I would have no problem beating the crap out of it for all the pain and suffering it has caused. Oh, and the endless suffering I would condemn it too. I would have absolutely NO remorse for it's deserved suffering. I don't like the word hate, I was taught to not hate but dislike. Well, cancer I HATE YOU! You have taken far too many innocent lives, and the ones you've touched but did not take, they live in fear of your return every day of their lives, and that's a hell no man, woman or child should ever be forced endure, because of the sick pleasure you take in tormenting them.
I have lost friends and family to cancer, and while I understand it's not always a battle that can be won, every single person faced with this fight does exactly that, fight. Some win and survive, some don't. It is a battle only they can fight, their families and friends can only stand by and cheer them on, offer support and feel absolutely helpless. It's heart breaking to think of children and grandchildren who will grow up without their moms, dads or grandparents. Or parents who's child is taken far too soon. It's heart breaking for life long friends to loose someone who is so much a part of them that the void left is unfillable. Death is as much a part of us as life is, yet to have your life pulled out from under you by such an ugly disease that just for the fun of it can take years to do it's job is so utterly UNFAIR.
Ya, I know life is unfair, but when you reflect on the devastation cancer causes this would be the one thing I think when it's OK to not have to just suck it up because life isn't fair. Why have the researchers not found a cure? What are they missing. I used to believe that it was the pharmaceutical companies who don't want a cure found. Yet with all the fund raising and awareness we still cannot conquer it in every case. Is research really being hampered by corporations only interested in making money off the suffering of cancer fighters? Are we really such a heartless society? I really hope not. I pray for a cure for all cancers, I pray it's found sooner than later. I pray that every single soul on this planet can be armed and ready with a simple vaccine so the slimy cancer beast can be easily defeated before it can touch any of us.
I'm sad and angry and disappointed and yet, I'm hopeful. I hope for a cure, I hope for those who battle daily that they conquer, that they are victorious. That's what they deserve, they do not deserve to be ravaged by cancer. I am so very grateful for my own health and the health of my children. I know if ever I am faced with the need to battle, I will with all my might. I will not give up or give in. I will cheer on and support anyone I know who is fighting this fight and I will continue to pray for a cure. I will beg and plead for lives to be spared, not for the life alone, but for the lives that will be devastated by their passing. I know I am only one of many who are currently crying out for help, but our voices combined surely must be loud enough to be heard, surely.
I HATE CANCER and the devastation it causes. It's the crap the devil scrapes of the bottom of his shoe onto society, and leaves for us to clean up. We will continue to fight, and maybe one day, we can put down our battle gear and just be. Right now, at this very moment please take a minute to reflect on the fighters you know, the ones who have fought and won, and those who have passed to eternal peace. Take a moment to be truly grateful for your own health, and the health of your loved ones. Say a prayer for those who are in the midst of battle and send them all your strength, they need it.
With much love, light and a cancer free world.
Tammy.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
TRY + DO = SUCCESS! (most of the time)
"There is no 'try', there is just 'do'", I got this from a friend who in turn got it from Yoda. It sparked a little back and forth between us, not Yoda and I but between my friend and I. And although I get the idea of 'do' I can't discount that I don't entirely agree. I feel I need to explore this further as I do have more to say about it and don't want to end up loosing sight of my own opinion in a debate. Broken down to it's most simplistic form of what is meant by just 'do', I agree, it's about taking that first step towards success.
But...(there it is the ominous 'but')
In my opinion, to try does not equate automatically to failure nor is it a non-option as indicated by Yoda. It was pointed out to me 'do' intimates success because if you fail at doing something you are more likely to 'do' it again, not give up, not necessarily. Lets look at it this way. I believe that we learn from our failures, and learn not to 'do' it again, really what we do, is 'try' again. For example; say you marry an abusive man, I mean really abusive, one who gives you a daily beating because you didn't 'do' what you were told. OK, extreme example, but what if by the grace of God you are able to leave that relationship. Do you 'do' it again? You succeeded in attaining an abuser the first time, do you want to succeed again? OR, do you 'try' something new, 'try' finding a partner who will respect and support you? I suppose yes, doing does equal success but more so, I think we need to define what we want our success to be, long before we just 'do' it. And that's were 'try' comes in. Yoda's quote was laking at best.
I know the point being made is for the simplest form of doing, it is the mindset that you just do it, or at the very least, get started. However, what got you to the point were you can just do it? If someone tells you to 'do' without telling you to prepare first is setting you up for failure. Now, Yoda was encouraging Luke Skywalker to lift the spacecraft out of the bog, and after much 'try' he was told to just 'do'. But without trying and pushing yourself and making mistakes how can you just 'do'? If Luke were to walk up to the bog with the preprogrammed mindset that he could just do it before all the trying what lesson would he have learned? Well for one, he'd learn that he can lift a spacecraft with his mind, ok that's pretty big but would he become arrogant and self indulgent because he just knows he can just do it? Or, having tried, failed and tried again, has he learned humility and the knowledge that it takes more than arrogance to lift the spacecraft. It's much deeper than just do it and I think Yoda let him fail so he would learn exactly this.
Nike created the slogan "Just Do It" in reference to athletes getting out there and just doing it, whatever their 'it' is. Now not being an athlete, if I were to just do it, I'd probably hurt myself, but I might 'try' something easy. When kids don't want to eat their dinner because it's different than what they normally eat, do we tell them "just 'do' it" I suppose some parents would, or do we say, "just 'try' it, you don't know if you'll like it unless you 'try' it." Try is an integral part of growing up. Trial and error, experimenting, riding a bike, skateboarding for the first time, how do you know you can unless you ummmm 'just do it'? Or step on it and give it a 'try'? They are totally interchangeable depending on the situation and individual. We don't tell our kids "give it a do" that just sounds weird, besides they need to experience failure in order to gain knowledge and grow as individuals. We do however say "don't 'do' that, (negative) we don't necessarily say "don't 'try' that. Try, is the precursor to doing and inevitably to succeeding. Yes there is the "I tried and failed" but there is also, "Try, try again" until you 'do' it. IF you are meant to do it. Trying is a part of teaching and learning, doing is what happens after you have learned your lessons.
We are capable of doing anything we set our minds too and to figure out our capabilities we need to try different things, and do different things, sometimes even re-think our game plan and try a different approach. I don't think trying is akin to failing, I don't think doing is akin to success either, I think in the end it is the triumph that occurs that matters most. If you try something new, succeed and are able with ease to do it again and again, then you have your success! If you try something new, are unable to do it because it is beyond your capabilities, do you sit in your failure or do you try something different? When you go shopping do you 'try' on clothing to make sure it fits or do you just buy it and hope it fits? If you know your exact size then that probably works for you but what if you get it home, put it on and you don't like it after all, then your 'do' has failed. To 'do' is completely up to the individual, free will and all that. Sometimes jumping in with both feet is a dangerous prospect, you have to pick your 'do' carefully and thoughtfully.
What if Yoda was unsuccessful in convincing Luke he was capable of lifting the spacecraft? The thing is, Yoda knew Luke could do it, he knew Luke would not fail. How many of us have a Yoda telling us to 'do' not 'try'? There's the key, Luke had Yoda, he had his support, but more than that he had a crystal ball of sorts. If you had someone telling you without a shadow of a doubt that you could do it, that you would never fail, can we clone them for the rest of us? The fact is we don't have a Yoda, and we have a subconscious that tells us we can fail, but we don't give up and we try again, but maybe with a little less confidence. Can we still achieve success? Yes absolutely. But if we don't try we will never know, if we adopt the mentality of 'do' we have to ensure we are prepared and capable of 'do'.
I understand that trying, failing and giving up can deflate any ones sails. It can be a cop out as well, "well, I tried and I failed, so I don't have to try anymore" But what happens to our self esteem when we set out to 'do' and we fail? Do we say I tried or I did? Pretty much everything we set out to 'do' can turn into a 'try' when we don't succeed. Luke didn't sit back on his laurels once he got the ship out of the bog, his training continued. He had renewed self confidence but a long way to go before he could defeat Darth Vader. So although he tried, failed and tried to give up, he had Yoda telling him to 'do' it and he did it. What I'm saying is we shouldn't completely discount trying and we should definitely not stop doing either. Trying is key to doing and succeeding.
If you are faced with a situation were you are expected to accomplish something what do you do to facilitate the process to ensure you accomplish your goal? As part of my job I have the task of attaining software support renewals from our customers. Now this is not a mandatory renewal, we do have a pay per use option but our renewals are almost 100% profit for the company so we try to encourage our customers to renew every year. Now, year after year I have "tried" different software programs to help facilitate the renewal process and time and time again I have failed at finding the perfect program to assist with this. I haven't given up however because I do have an end goal and a mandate to reach it. So I continue trying different approaches and one of these days one will work. On the other hand, I can't just do it, because there are tools required to achieving success and just doing it will not facilitate the outcome I am striving for. So what you choose to do should be congruent to the goal you are attempting to attain and if that means 'trying' different approaches, so be it.
That's were I have a hard time accepting the 'just do it' mentality. I have worked in an office environment for over 21 years and I know hands down from experience 'just doing it' is the absolute wrong approach, businesses fail when they 'just do it' without proper due-diligence. When you are charged with a task, and there are consequences to your failure you will tread lightly, and try different approaches until you find the right one. In your personal life I can see this being different, say you want to loose 20 lbs, well trying to loose is way different than doing it. You can try different diets and fail every time, but it's that trial and error that teaches us what works for us. Had I not tried Weight Watchers 4 years ago I would never have lost the 30 lbs I set as my goal. However, I have since gained every last pound back. Now, armed with the knowledge that it worked in the past, I can 'just do it', I have the tools and training, I just need the drive and willingness to eat countless baby carrots to get started. Ummmm not right now.
There is nothing wrong with trying. There is absolutely nothing wrong with doing either. I think the difference is we try when we are unsure and we do when we are sure. And I challenge anyone reading this to deny ever having an unsure moment, but went ahead and 'tried' any way, successfully or not. Yoda was trying to encourage Luke to do what he knew Luke was capable of. Luke needed Yoda to tell him to 'do' because he was unsure of his abilities even after countless tries. Once we are sure, we are unstoppable but what is required to becoming unstoppable? Trying then doing.
I think an appropriate statement would be to 'never give up'. Never give up on your goals and dreams, never give up on trying and never give up on doing. It doesn't matter if you try or do, if you give up it's all for not. Let's remember, Yoda was a puppet and that line was written by a human. His choice of words were based on the character who would be imparting them, and Yoda talks backwards, so maybe we have taken this too literally and have abandoned trying because a rubber puppet told us to, lets not forget he did let Luke try until he wanted to give up, he didn't just tell him 'do' he let Luke experience failure.
Just do it, go do it, DO IT NOW! Don't bother preparing and gaining the knowledge through trial and error, just 'DO'. OK, what are you going to do? Are you prepared? Yes? Great, but your success is not guaranteed. No? Well that's OK just go do it anyway but again your success is not guaranteed. So, now, let me ask you this. If you had no idea how to preform surgery, and just did it, do you think you would be successful? No? Then why did you do it? What were you thinking? Why did they create flight simulators? Perhaps they were tired of loosing trainees and equipment because new pilots were not afforded the opportunity to try and see if they could, oh, fly a plane. If you are equipped and ready then, 'do', by all means, 'do' big! If not, then what? 'Do' anyway? Could be dangerous, or could be successful, there is no more of a guarantee with 'do', than with 'try', of being successful.
TRY + DO = SUCCESS. If you don't try you'll never know if you can do. If you do it without being prepared without your trial and error, will you fail, I don't know, I'm not Yoda. If you do it and you succeed, take a look back and count your tries, bet there is at least one ;-) Don't just 'do' it. Just 'DO' 'TRY' to not give up.
With much love, light, trial and error. (hey I'm not perfect.)
Tammy.
But...(there it is the ominous 'but')
In my opinion, to try does not equate automatically to failure nor is it a non-option as indicated by Yoda. It was pointed out to me 'do' intimates success because if you fail at doing something you are more likely to 'do' it again, not give up, not necessarily. Lets look at it this way. I believe that we learn from our failures, and learn not to 'do' it again, really what we do, is 'try' again. For example; say you marry an abusive man, I mean really abusive, one who gives you a daily beating because you didn't 'do' what you were told. OK, extreme example, but what if by the grace of God you are able to leave that relationship. Do you 'do' it again? You succeeded in attaining an abuser the first time, do you want to succeed again? OR, do you 'try' something new, 'try' finding a partner who will respect and support you? I suppose yes, doing does equal success but more so, I think we need to define what we want our success to be, long before we just 'do' it. And that's were 'try' comes in. Yoda's quote was laking at best.
I know the point being made is for the simplest form of doing, it is the mindset that you just do it, or at the very least, get started. However, what got you to the point were you can just do it? If someone tells you to 'do' without telling you to prepare first is setting you up for failure. Now, Yoda was encouraging Luke Skywalker to lift the spacecraft out of the bog, and after much 'try' he was told to just 'do'. But without trying and pushing yourself and making mistakes how can you just 'do'? If Luke were to walk up to the bog with the preprogrammed mindset that he could just do it before all the trying what lesson would he have learned? Well for one, he'd learn that he can lift a spacecraft with his mind, ok that's pretty big but would he become arrogant and self indulgent because he just knows he can just do it? Or, having tried, failed and tried again, has he learned humility and the knowledge that it takes more than arrogance to lift the spacecraft. It's much deeper than just do it and I think Yoda let him fail so he would learn exactly this.
Nike created the slogan "Just Do It" in reference to athletes getting out there and just doing it, whatever their 'it' is. Now not being an athlete, if I were to just do it, I'd probably hurt myself, but I might 'try' something easy. When kids don't want to eat their dinner because it's different than what they normally eat, do we tell them "just 'do' it" I suppose some parents would, or do we say, "just 'try' it, you don't know if you'll like it unless you 'try' it." Try is an integral part of growing up. Trial and error, experimenting, riding a bike, skateboarding for the first time, how do you know you can unless you ummmm 'just do it'? Or step on it and give it a 'try'? They are totally interchangeable depending on the situation and individual. We don't tell our kids "give it a do" that just sounds weird, besides they need to experience failure in order to gain knowledge and grow as individuals. We do however say "don't 'do' that, (negative) we don't necessarily say "don't 'try' that. Try, is the precursor to doing and inevitably to succeeding. Yes there is the "I tried and failed" but there is also, "Try, try again" until you 'do' it. IF you are meant to do it. Trying is a part of teaching and learning, doing is what happens after you have learned your lessons.
We are capable of doing anything we set our minds too and to figure out our capabilities we need to try different things, and do different things, sometimes even re-think our game plan and try a different approach. I don't think trying is akin to failing, I don't think doing is akin to success either, I think in the end it is the triumph that occurs that matters most. If you try something new, succeed and are able with ease to do it again and again, then you have your success! If you try something new, are unable to do it because it is beyond your capabilities, do you sit in your failure or do you try something different? When you go shopping do you 'try' on clothing to make sure it fits or do you just buy it and hope it fits? If you know your exact size then that probably works for you but what if you get it home, put it on and you don't like it after all, then your 'do' has failed. To 'do' is completely up to the individual, free will and all that. Sometimes jumping in with both feet is a dangerous prospect, you have to pick your 'do' carefully and thoughtfully.
What if Yoda was unsuccessful in convincing Luke he was capable of lifting the spacecraft? The thing is, Yoda knew Luke could do it, he knew Luke would not fail. How many of us have a Yoda telling us to 'do' not 'try'? There's the key, Luke had Yoda, he had his support, but more than that he had a crystal ball of sorts. If you had someone telling you without a shadow of a doubt that you could do it, that you would never fail, can we clone them for the rest of us? The fact is we don't have a Yoda, and we have a subconscious that tells us we can fail, but we don't give up and we try again, but maybe with a little less confidence. Can we still achieve success? Yes absolutely. But if we don't try we will never know, if we adopt the mentality of 'do' we have to ensure we are prepared and capable of 'do'.
I understand that trying, failing and giving up can deflate any ones sails. It can be a cop out as well, "well, I tried and I failed, so I don't have to try anymore" But what happens to our self esteem when we set out to 'do' and we fail? Do we say I tried or I did? Pretty much everything we set out to 'do' can turn into a 'try' when we don't succeed. Luke didn't sit back on his laurels once he got the ship out of the bog, his training continued. He had renewed self confidence but a long way to go before he could defeat Darth Vader. So although he tried, failed and tried to give up, he had Yoda telling him to 'do' it and he did it. What I'm saying is we shouldn't completely discount trying and we should definitely not stop doing either. Trying is key to doing and succeeding.
If you are faced with a situation were you are expected to accomplish something what do you do to facilitate the process to ensure you accomplish your goal? As part of my job I have the task of attaining software support renewals from our customers. Now this is not a mandatory renewal, we do have a pay per use option but our renewals are almost 100% profit for the company so we try to encourage our customers to renew every year. Now, year after year I have "tried" different software programs to help facilitate the renewal process and time and time again I have failed at finding the perfect program to assist with this. I haven't given up however because I do have an end goal and a mandate to reach it. So I continue trying different approaches and one of these days one will work. On the other hand, I can't just do it, because there are tools required to achieving success and just doing it will not facilitate the outcome I am striving for. So what you choose to do should be congruent to the goal you are attempting to attain and if that means 'trying' different approaches, so be it.
That's were I have a hard time accepting the 'just do it' mentality. I have worked in an office environment for over 21 years and I know hands down from experience 'just doing it' is the absolute wrong approach, businesses fail when they 'just do it' without proper due-diligence. When you are charged with a task, and there are consequences to your failure you will tread lightly, and try different approaches until you find the right one. In your personal life I can see this being different, say you want to loose 20 lbs, well trying to loose is way different than doing it. You can try different diets and fail every time, but it's that trial and error that teaches us what works for us. Had I not tried Weight Watchers 4 years ago I would never have lost the 30 lbs I set as my goal. However, I have since gained every last pound back. Now, armed with the knowledge that it worked in the past, I can 'just do it', I have the tools and training, I just need the drive and willingness to eat countless baby carrots to get started. Ummmm not right now.
There is nothing wrong with trying. There is absolutely nothing wrong with doing either. I think the difference is we try when we are unsure and we do when we are sure. And I challenge anyone reading this to deny ever having an unsure moment, but went ahead and 'tried' any way, successfully or not. Yoda was trying to encourage Luke to do what he knew Luke was capable of. Luke needed Yoda to tell him to 'do' because he was unsure of his abilities even after countless tries. Once we are sure, we are unstoppable but what is required to becoming unstoppable? Trying then doing.
I think an appropriate statement would be to 'never give up'. Never give up on your goals and dreams, never give up on trying and never give up on doing. It doesn't matter if you try or do, if you give up it's all for not. Let's remember, Yoda was a puppet and that line was written by a human. His choice of words were based on the character who would be imparting them, and Yoda talks backwards, so maybe we have taken this too literally and have abandoned trying because a rubber puppet told us to, lets not forget he did let Luke try until he wanted to give up, he didn't just tell him 'do' he let Luke experience failure.
Just do it, go do it, DO IT NOW! Don't bother preparing and gaining the knowledge through trial and error, just 'DO'. OK, what are you going to do? Are you prepared? Yes? Great, but your success is not guaranteed. No? Well that's OK just go do it anyway but again your success is not guaranteed. So, now, let me ask you this. If you had no idea how to preform surgery, and just did it, do you think you would be successful? No? Then why did you do it? What were you thinking? Why did they create flight simulators? Perhaps they were tired of loosing trainees and equipment because new pilots were not afforded the opportunity to try and see if they could, oh, fly a plane. If you are equipped and ready then, 'do', by all means, 'do' big! If not, then what? 'Do' anyway? Could be dangerous, or could be successful, there is no more of a guarantee with 'do', than with 'try', of being successful.
TRY + DO = SUCCESS. If you don't try you'll never know if you can do. If you do it without being prepared without your trial and error, will you fail, I don't know, I'm not Yoda. If you do it and you succeed, take a look back and count your tries, bet there is at least one ;-) Don't just 'do' it. Just 'DO' 'TRY' to not give up.
With much love, light, trial and error. (hey I'm not perfect.)
Tammy.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Interesting Insight
This weekend I learned something about my almost 13 year old daughter.
This young lady, wise beyond her years is setting herself up for success without the assistance of her parents. She has figured out all on her own what it will take to be successful as an adult and is starting now.
She has always been a smart kid. We attribute this in part to her preschool to kindergarten years in a Montesory daycare as well as grade one in the Montesory programme at the school she attended when we lived in New Westminster. This, I firmly believe, taught her how to learn and what she took from this experience has stayed with he all these years.
The insight I gained from her was in the form of very random chit-chat while we were out and about over this past weekend. The first insight came when she called me Friday to tell me that she had attended her first challenge programme class at school. This is a class for exceptional students to "challenge" them to think outside the box. Her first task was to figure out how to cut a news paper page so that it is large enough to walk through without cutting the outside edge. This sounds relatively simplistic however, unless you have done this I challenge anyone to give it a try. Well, she figured it out, and ya, it is possible, in fact it was big enough that I was able to pass though it with no problem.
The second insight came when she was telling me about a dance routine they have to do for PE were they work in groups and come up with a routine that is graded by the teacher. Now, my daughter has a varied group of friends all of which she has worked with over the past two years on various group projects. While you would think if given a choice most friend groups would stick together, well not my girl. The way she explained it is, "school is not about friends but grades, and I want to get an A so I chose a group with a girl who takes a dance class." Now, this is the same group she danced with last year and they got an A whereas the group with her friends didn't do so well. Smart thinking, not to mention it expands her group of friends to include girls she wouldn't normally hang out with. What I see is she is alying herself with people who will help her insure her success.
The third insight came last night as I was driving my kids to their dad's to start their week with him. This was an entirely random thought and she felt it necessary to talk about it. Her comment went something like this, "People say money doesn't buy happiness, I disagree. Without money how can you be happy?" "Money is an important part of life" "They teach us that it's important to have food, shelter and clothing, you get these things with money." This got us talking about how 100 years ago you could survive on very little money because you would have the necessities of life from simple means. Today, it's virtually impossible to attain the necessities without money. She is right to a certain extent, money does buy happiness, how happy are you when you run out? Imagine the life of a homeless person, or a single mom who relies on government assistance to feed her kids. Do you think money would make them happy? I do, I know when I get a win fall from work or mom and dad it puts a smile on my face, that buys my happiness for sure.
Money, however, is the root of all evil is it not? When you think about it you can't live with it, and you can't live without it. The conversation evolved into, why do we need money anyway? Well, in this day and age, it's an integral part of survival. My daughter expanded that to say money should be part of a survival kit because what happens if there is a power failure and you can't access your money from the bank machine? Good point, if we rely so heavily on our various electronic devices would we survive? Maybe keeping your money in the mattress is a wise idea, pay cash for everything and avoid credit like the plague. Maybe if we were to revert to the simplified means of our grand parents or great grand parents we would be happier without money. Doubtful but where is our need for money leading us? What will our grand children and great grand children see when they look back and wonder what life was like for us? Interesting things to ponder.
These insights were brought to you by way of an almost 13 year old (this March) who in my eyes a beautiful, intelligent girl who is destine to be an important member of society. She is setting herself up for success and success will be hers. I couldn't be prouder to say I'm her mom. She is remarkable and wise beyond her years, she was born to make a difference in this world and it's an honour that she chose me to be her mom.
With much love, light and pride.
Tammy.
This young lady, wise beyond her years is setting herself up for success without the assistance of her parents. She has figured out all on her own what it will take to be successful as an adult and is starting now.
She has always been a smart kid. We attribute this in part to her preschool to kindergarten years in a Montesory daycare as well as grade one in the Montesory programme at the school she attended when we lived in New Westminster. This, I firmly believe, taught her how to learn and what she took from this experience has stayed with he all these years.
The insight I gained from her was in the form of very random chit-chat while we were out and about over this past weekend. The first insight came when she called me Friday to tell me that she had attended her first challenge programme class at school. This is a class for exceptional students to "challenge" them to think outside the box. Her first task was to figure out how to cut a news paper page so that it is large enough to walk through without cutting the outside edge. This sounds relatively simplistic however, unless you have done this I challenge anyone to give it a try. Well, she figured it out, and ya, it is possible, in fact it was big enough that I was able to pass though it with no problem.
The second insight came when she was telling me about a dance routine they have to do for PE were they work in groups and come up with a routine that is graded by the teacher. Now, my daughter has a varied group of friends all of which she has worked with over the past two years on various group projects. While you would think if given a choice most friend groups would stick together, well not my girl. The way she explained it is, "school is not about friends but grades, and I want to get an A so I chose a group with a girl who takes a dance class." Now, this is the same group she danced with last year and they got an A whereas the group with her friends didn't do so well. Smart thinking, not to mention it expands her group of friends to include girls she wouldn't normally hang out with. What I see is she is alying herself with people who will help her insure her success.
The third insight came last night as I was driving my kids to their dad's to start their week with him. This was an entirely random thought and she felt it necessary to talk about it. Her comment went something like this, "People say money doesn't buy happiness, I disagree. Without money how can you be happy?" "Money is an important part of life" "They teach us that it's important to have food, shelter and clothing, you get these things with money." This got us talking about how 100 years ago you could survive on very little money because you would have the necessities of life from simple means. Today, it's virtually impossible to attain the necessities without money. She is right to a certain extent, money does buy happiness, how happy are you when you run out? Imagine the life of a homeless person, or a single mom who relies on government assistance to feed her kids. Do you think money would make them happy? I do, I know when I get a win fall from work or mom and dad it puts a smile on my face, that buys my happiness for sure.
Money, however, is the root of all evil is it not? When you think about it you can't live with it, and you can't live without it. The conversation evolved into, why do we need money anyway? Well, in this day and age, it's an integral part of survival. My daughter expanded that to say money should be part of a survival kit because what happens if there is a power failure and you can't access your money from the bank machine? Good point, if we rely so heavily on our various electronic devices would we survive? Maybe keeping your money in the mattress is a wise idea, pay cash for everything and avoid credit like the plague. Maybe if we were to revert to the simplified means of our grand parents or great grand parents we would be happier without money. Doubtful but where is our need for money leading us? What will our grand children and great grand children see when they look back and wonder what life was like for us? Interesting things to ponder.
These insights were brought to you by way of an almost 13 year old (this March) who in my eyes a beautiful, intelligent girl who is destine to be an important member of society. She is setting herself up for success and success will be hers. I couldn't be prouder to say I'm her mom. She is remarkable and wise beyond her years, she was born to make a difference in this world and it's an honour that she chose me to be her mom.
With much love, light and pride.
Tammy.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
A Change Of Scene, Or Just A Change Of Scenery?
I have been giving this some thought lately. Every now and then I check out the job ads on Craigslist just to see what's out there. It's not that I'm unhappy with my job, I just feel the overwhelming need for a change. Why do I need change so often? As I look back I see a definite pattern and here's what I've found.
I have never had a job for more than four to five years. Most of the job changes I have made have been to better my position or for more money or relocation. However, at about the four year mark I start getting restless. Maybe it's boredom, maybe it's just the way I'm wired but after day in and day out of the same old thing it wears on me. I'm just now approaching the four year anniversary of my current position and although I have taken a gander at what's out there in my area of expertise, I just don't have the motivation or energy to make that change. Am I happy were I am? Maybe, or maybe I've become complacent. Honestly, my job isn't difficult at all. It's just not challenging. I could do it with my eyes closed, and sometimes I do.
What I'm finding as I explore why I feel this way is because I'm not challenged I'm no longer interested. I could probably take on new tasks but why? I have enough un-started new tasks to keep me busy for a long while, yet I'm unmotivated to start them. There is even monetary incentive to complete them but really my heart is not in it and honestly I just don't feel like it. I know I'm doing a huge disservice to the company I work for yet, I can't bring myself the either get on with it or leave.
So as I ponder my options, a thought comes to mind. Maybe I just need a vacation, a real vacation were I can get on a plane and go somewhere. Last year I was given the task of obtaining software support contract renewals. My goal with $60,000.00 for the year and if I made my "stretch" goal of $80,000.00 I would be given an additional $1,500.00 towards a trip to Disneyland. Well I made my stretch goal and have this prize waiting for me but for some reason I feel paralyzed to take it.
I have looked online for deals and for the time period I was hoping to go and there isn't anything available yet. Another reason for this paralysis is the fact that I am in a relationship with someone who has three kids and the $1,500.00 would not cover the cost for all of us to go. Not that I don't want them there, but I did promise my kids when their dad and I split up that I would take them to Disneyland, and until now have not done so.
I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, yet I don't want to upset my kids by not taking just them, this is something they have longed for as well as the other three, but it's just not financially possible at this time to take everyone. Not to mention my partner and his kids don't have their passports so flying is out of the question and then there is the matter of him gaining permission to take them across the border. All these factors have caused me to seriously consider my options. If I were to change jobs now I will loose my three weeks vacation for this year, as well as the opportunity to take the kids to Disneyland. Not that my employer would withhold the money, I just don't want to cause an issue financially that I can't take them at all.
So, is it a change of scene or scenery? At this point I think I'll stay put at work, like I said I don't have the energy to look for another job. As for the trip, only time will tell. I committed to finding a suitable "deal" withing the next few months and need to stick to that. I also need to figure out a way to take my kids without hurting anyone's feelings, and because inevitably feelings will be hurt I will likely not go anywhere and thus disappoint my kids yet again. One saving grace, I have not told my kids that this is even a possibility, so if they never find out then they won't be hurt right? Who am I kidding they have been waiting for this for three years I really don't want to disappoint them again.
What to do, what to do? This might be the cause of my restlessness, the thought of having to do something yet not knowing what to do. In a perfect world, I would have the courage to say what it is I want, but it's not and apparently I'm a coward when it comes to asserting my wants and needs. It would absolutely devastate me to know I have directly caused someone else pain. I honestly haven't a clue how to proceed with this. I'll stay put, but I need to get away, for promises I made to two of the most important people in my life, to disappoint them would also be devastating. What to do, what to do? And then, another thought...
I have always longed to travel but have been paralyzed to do so. Maybe that's the underlying problem. Maybe I'm looking for an excuse to not be able to go. All these years of longing, yet not doing. I know I have a fear of leaving home, I am not comfortable crossing the border and for the short periods that I have it was with a sigh of relief that I made it back to Canada. It's the strangest thing, and stranger still to come to this realization. I see were my paralysis lies, I don't know what to do about it. Why do I fear a "big" vacation? Yet it's something I have longed for well, forever. When I lived in Toronto I would fly home to the safety of my parents home, yet I dream of lying on a warm tropical beach and at the same time am afraid to take that trip. I don't recall ever having a bad vacation with my parents when I was growing up, so why do I feel this way?
If knowing is half the battle, then what's the other half in this scenario? Conquering it? Ya, I get that, but there are several other factors to consider and maybe this battle is far to daunting for me. If I knew that my taking my kids on a vacation that I had promised them wouldn't cause a problem in my relationship, I would work hard to release my fear of traveling and just do it. But, I can't fathom why that would even be remotely acceptable. I know how I would feel if the shoe were on the other foot. Yet, I also know I would understand, because that's just how I am. Maybe this is not as bad as I'm thinking it is, maybe this is what I need to work through my issues and be a stronger better more grounded person. If I can get past this then coming back to a boring job won't seem so terrible.
Well, I have some time to work this out, as I said there are no deals just yet so I couldn't book a trip even if I wanted to. I will not tell my kids until I have the tickets in hand and I will try to do everything in my power to make this happen for them. I just can't bear the thought of disappointing my partner and his kids with not being able to afford to take them too. Even if we were to drive, it's an expensive trip for seven people. Not to mention the long and boring drive. Maybe the train? That might just be a plan. I will have to look into it and get back to you...
With much love, light and hope.
Tammy.
I have never had a job for more than four to five years. Most of the job changes I have made have been to better my position or for more money or relocation. However, at about the four year mark I start getting restless. Maybe it's boredom, maybe it's just the way I'm wired but after day in and day out of the same old thing it wears on me. I'm just now approaching the four year anniversary of my current position and although I have taken a gander at what's out there in my area of expertise, I just don't have the motivation or energy to make that change. Am I happy were I am? Maybe, or maybe I've become complacent. Honestly, my job isn't difficult at all. It's just not challenging. I could do it with my eyes closed, and sometimes I do.
What I'm finding as I explore why I feel this way is because I'm not challenged I'm no longer interested. I could probably take on new tasks but why? I have enough un-started new tasks to keep me busy for a long while, yet I'm unmotivated to start them. There is even monetary incentive to complete them but really my heart is not in it and honestly I just don't feel like it. I know I'm doing a huge disservice to the company I work for yet, I can't bring myself the either get on with it or leave.
So as I ponder my options, a thought comes to mind. Maybe I just need a vacation, a real vacation were I can get on a plane and go somewhere. Last year I was given the task of obtaining software support contract renewals. My goal with $60,000.00 for the year and if I made my "stretch" goal of $80,000.00 I would be given an additional $1,500.00 towards a trip to Disneyland. Well I made my stretch goal and have this prize waiting for me but for some reason I feel paralyzed to take it.
I have looked online for deals and for the time period I was hoping to go and there isn't anything available yet. Another reason for this paralysis is the fact that I am in a relationship with someone who has three kids and the $1,500.00 would not cover the cost for all of us to go. Not that I don't want them there, but I did promise my kids when their dad and I split up that I would take them to Disneyland, and until now have not done so.
I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, yet I don't want to upset my kids by not taking just them, this is something they have longed for as well as the other three, but it's just not financially possible at this time to take everyone. Not to mention my partner and his kids don't have their passports so flying is out of the question and then there is the matter of him gaining permission to take them across the border. All these factors have caused me to seriously consider my options. If I were to change jobs now I will loose my three weeks vacation for this year, as well as the opportunity to take the kids to Disneyland. Not that my employer would withhold the money, I just don't want to cause an issue financially that I can't take them at all.
So, is it a change of scene or scenery? At this point I think I'll stay put at work, like I said I don't have the energy to look for another job. As for the trip, only time will tell. I committed to finding a suitable "deal" withing the next few months and need to stick to that. I also need to figure out a way to take my kids without hurting anyone's feelings, and because inevitably feelings will be hurt I will likely not go anywhere and thus disappoint my kids yet again. One saving grace, I have not told my kids that this is even a possibility, so if they never find out then they won't be hurt right? Who am I kidding they have been waiting for this for three years I really don't want to disappoint them again.
What to do, what to do? This might be the cause of my restlessness, the thought of having to do something yet not knowing what to do. In a perfect world, I would have the courage to say what it is I want, but it's not and apparently I'm a coward when it comes to asserting my wants and needs. It would absolutely devastate me to know I have directly caused someone else pain. I honestly haven't a clue how to proceed with this. I'll stay put, but I need to get away, for promises I made to two of the most important people in my life, to disappoint them would also be devastating. What to do, what to do? And then, another thought...
I have always longed to travel but have been paralyzed to do so. Maybe that's the underlying problem. Maybe I'm looking for an excuse to not be able to go. All these years of longing, yet not doing. I know I have a fear of leaving home, I am not comfortable crossing the border and for the short periods that I have it was with a sigh of relief that I made it back to Canada. It's the strangest thing, and stranger still to come to this realization. I see were my paralysis lies, I don't know what to do about it. Why do I fear a "big" vacation? Yet it's something I have longed for well, forever. When I lived in Toronto I would fly home to the safety of my parents home, yet I dream of lying on a warm tropical beach and at the same time am afraid to take that trip. I don't recall ever having a bad vacation with my parents when I was growing up, so why do I feel this way?
If knowing is half the battle, then what's the other half in this scenario? Conquering it? Ya, I get that, but there are several other factors to consider and maybe this battle is far to daunting for me. If I knew that my taking my kids on a vacation that I had promised them wouldn't cause a problem in my relationship, I would work hard to release my fear of traveling and just do it. But, I can't fathom why that would even be remotely acceptable. I know how I would feel if the shoe were on the other foot. Yet, I also know I would understand, because that's just how I am. Maybe this is not as bad as I'm thinking it is, maybe this is what I need to work through my issues and be a stronger better more grounded person. If I can get past this then coming back to a boring job won't seem so terrible.
Well, I have some time to work this out, as I said there are no deals just yet so I couldn't book a trip even if I wanted to. I will not tell my kids until I have the tickets in hand and I will try to do everything in my power to make this happen for them. I just can't bear the thought of disappointing my partner and his kids with not being able to afford to take them too. Even if we were to drive, it's an expensive trip for seven people. Not to mention the long and boring drive. Maybe the train? That might just be a plan. I will have to look into it and get back to you...
With much love, light and hope.
Tammy.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Now You've Done It
Originally I was going to call this biting off more than you can chew, but after some thought I think the new title is far more fitting because we do it to ourselves.
So, my ex, as some of you may know, is a finishing carpenter. He does the odd side job and before Christmas took on a renovation for someone who knows someone in the company he works for full time. Well, they were hoping to have it done by Christmas and well, as these things go they should have started in October. As of today, he's still not finished.
Well, at the beginning of January his crew, (at his day job) were informed that they would be working 10hr days as well as 5hrs on Saturday in order to meet the March occupancy on the high rise they are finishing. This would normally be not a problem as they generally slow down this time of year. However, with this side job and having the kids this week he has definitely bitten off more than he can chew. Hindsight is 20/20 and had he known this would be a problem he likely wouldn't have agreed to the side job. Yah, right he said that the last time too. Unfortunately it's the kids who suffer in the long run.
So why does he do it? Why do any of us? I think it's the inability to say no. Or in part the inability to say no. We seem to think we have unlimited time when we over commit, yet really we know differently. I used to over commit, and what I found is it's really not worth it. The stress and anxiety that goes along with trying to meet obligations. I've learned to spread it out. He would have too, except the people he's doing the side job keep adding things and in his case, he can't say no. Yet, he has no problem saying no to me or the kids which is interesting, but a whole other topic so I'll drop that one for now.
There are only so many waking hours in a day and if you try to fit it all in you are likely to burn out. It's unsustainable eventually somethings got to give. When we over encumber ourselves for any length of time we can become physically ill, you are exhausted and your immune system is compromised so WHAM! you get sick. And all you had to do to prevent this was say no? Why didn't you? Again, hind sight right? Well we are all guilty and we are all responsible for out actions so if you want to burn the candle at both ends by all means go ahead, some people are actually experts at this and quite capable. However these people are least likely to complain about it.
Although I have pointed out that he has bitten off more than he can chew, it remains to be seen if he would actually take my advice and just say no. But hey, that's ok, I get to say "I told you so" when it burns him out and he gets sick.
So with all this what have we determined? If you continue to over do it your body will step in and put an end to it, if you don't have the sense to stop it yourself. So keep going, it's not going to be too long before you can't anymore anyway. Oh and good luck.
With much love, light and spare time.
Tammy.
So, my ex, as some of you may know, is a finishing carpenter. He does the odd side job and before Christmas took on a renovation for someone who knows someone in the company he works for full time. Well, they were hoping to have it done by Christmas and well, as these things go they should have started in October. As of today, he's still not finished.
Well, at the beginning of January his crew, (at his day job) were informed that they would be working 10hr days as well as 5hrs on Saturday in order to meet the March occupancy on the high rise they are finishing. This would normally be not a problem as they generally slow down this time of year. However, with this side job and having the kids this week he has definitely bitten off more than he can chew. Hindsight is 20/20 and had he known this would be a problem he likely wouldn't have agreed to the side job. Yah, right he said that the last time too. Unfortunately it's the kids who suffer in the long run.
So why does he do it? Why do any of us? I think it's the inability to say no. Or in part the inability to say no. We seem to think we have unlimited time when we over commit, yet really we know differently. I used to over commit, and what I found is it's really not worth it. The stress and anxiety that goes along with trying to meet obligations. I've learned to spread it out. He would have too, except the people he's doing the side job keep adding things and in his case, he can't say no. Yet, he has no problem saying no to me or the kids which is interesting, but a whole other topic so I'll drop that one for now.
There are only so many waking hours in a day and if you try to fit it all in you are likely to burn out. It's unsustainable eventually somethings got to give. When we over encumber ourselves for any length of time we can become physically ill, you are exhausted and your immune system is compromised so WHAM! you get sick. And all you had to do to prevent this was say no? Why didn't you? Again, hind sight right? Well we are all guilty and we are all responsible for out actions so if you want to burn the candle at both ends by all means go ahead, some people are actually experts at this and quite capable. However these people are least likely to complain about it.
Although I have pointed out that he has bitten off more than he can chew, it remains to be seen if he would actually take my advice and just say no. But hey, that's ok, I get to say "I told you so" when it burns him out and he gets sick.
So with all this what have we determined? If you continue to over do it your body will step in and put an end to it, if you don't have the sense to stop it yourself. So keep going, it's not going to be too long before you can't anymore anyway. Oh and good luck.
With much love, light and spare time.
Tammy.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
A Funny Thing These Blogs Are.
So as I sit here and contemplate my recent posts. I see a pattern starting to emerge. Maybe I'm just venting and it's not constructive at all, I hope not. I don't really expect anyone to read my posts and while I share them my hope is that they inspire growth and introspection in those who stumble upon them.
I had a comment made to me recently that an individual thought I was directing my blogs at them and while admittedly my dealings with people in general spark the urge to respond, my thoughts on some topics are purely random as is the name of my blog. This poor individual has a lot of growing yet to do to be a better person, and maybe just maybe this is the little eye opener he needs. My answer to him was this, posed as a question. "why would you assume these posts are about you if you don't see yourself in them?" If that's the case then I am doing what I have set out to do. That is to make you take stock in your actions and look within first before laying blame. I'm close to this individual so I can say this.
There is a very good reason I don't mention names or point fingers. I will use my family as a reference point, but I will not expose individuals in my posts. If they choose to expose themselves then they need to ask why? Do I speak to them in some indirect way with perhaps a new perspective? That's a good thing, we all need a different perspective sometimes.
Some of you may know my ex, and well for those of you who do, will know very well that he will quickly put things in perspective for me, and my only defence, well, I blog. Not necessarily about him directly but he sure gives me lots of material. Don't get me wrong, I'm appreciative, and if anyone has any right to comment on my posts it's him.
If you choose to read between the lines, think long and hard about what I'm saying. If you fit any of the topics in my blog that's your personal interpretation of yourself. I just need to clarify not just for my concerned friend but anyone who may think I'm blogging directly at them. I'm not, I'm just typing it as I see it and if you can't handle the mirror I present then maybe you need it more than you think. Oh and my use of the word "you" is strictly for narrative purposes. I don't mean YOU reading this I mean you in general.
In fact, after speaking to him, just now, look for my next post "Biting Off More Than You Can Chew". Maybe I should start with a disclaimer at the beginning of my posts instead of at the end. Oh well, I guess this is a challenge all bloggers have, walking the tight rope of not bruising someones ego. Of course it's that very ego that thinks this blog is about you. (Hmmm maybe I should write a song about that) LOL I now have Carly Simon's song "You're So Vain" playing in my head. I'm replacing "song" with "blog".
Anyway, a heart felt apology to all those who read my posts and think they are about them. They are about how I feel about the actions of others and how they affect society as a whole. Just be the best person you know how to be and you have nothing to worry about. Unless of course, you like the attention and need my silly posts to be about you, what ever turns your crank, it's no skin off my nose. Gotta love corny sayings hey?
SO, again, with much love, light and no this blog is not about you.
Tammy.
I had a comment made to me recently that an individual thought I was directing my blogs at them and while admittedly my dealings with people in general spark the urge to respond, my thoughts on some topics are purely random as is the name of my blog. This poor individual has a lot of growing yet to do to be a better person, and maybe just maybe this is the little eye opener he needs. My answer to him was this, posed as a question. "why would you assume these posts are about you if you don't see yourself in them?" If that's the case then I am doing what I have set out to do. That is to make you take stock in your actions and look within first before laying blame. I'm close to this individual so I can say this.
There is a very good reason I don't mention names or point fingers. I will use my family as a reference point, but I will not expose individuals in my posts. If they choose to expose themselves then they need to ask why? Do I speak to them in some indirect way with perhaps a new perspective? That's a good thing, we all need a different perspective sometimes.
Some of you may know my ex, and well for those of you who do, will know very well that he will quickly put things in perspective for me, and my only defence, well, I blog. Not necessarily about him directly but he sure gives me lots of material. Don't get me wrong, I'm appreciative, and if anyone has any right to comment on my posts it's him.
If you choose to read between the lines, think long and hard about what I'm saying. If you fit any of the topics in my blog that's your personal interpretation of yourself. I just need to clarify not just for my concerned friend but anyone who may think I'm blogging directly at them. I'm not, I'm just typing it as I see it and if you can't handle the mirror I present then maybe you need it more than you think. Oh and my use of the word "you" is strictly for narrative purposes. I don't mean YOU reading this I mean you in general.
In fact, after speaking to him, just now, look for my next post "Biting Off More Than You Can Chew". Maybe I should start with a disclaimer at the beginning of my posts instead of at the end. Oh well, I guess this is a challenge all bloggers have, walking the tight rope of not bruising someones ego. Of course it's that very ego that thinks this blog is about you. (Hmmm maybe I should write a song about that) LOL I now have Carly Simon's song "You're So Vain" playing in my head. I'm replacing "song" with "blog".
Anyway, a heart felt apology to all those who read my posts and think they are about them. They are about how I feel about the actions of others and how they affect society as a whole. Just be the best person you know how to be and you have nothing to worry about. Unless of course, you like the attention and need my silly posts to be about you, what ever turns your crank, it's no skin off my nose. Gotta love corny sayings hey?
SO, again, with much love, light and no this blog is not about you.
Tammy.
...And Further More
I read my post from yesterday, and have a few things to add.
After much consideration of the whiners and complainers I was referring to, my thoughts turned to a remarkable woman I know who in the face of the worse adversity one could imagine, she never complained or whined "oh poor me" at least not out loud and believe me she more than any of us deserve to feel life is not fair.
You see, this woman has in-curable cancer and it has spread to her brain. She is a single mom, with three daughters one who is special needs and she's not going to be around to see them grow up get married and have kids of their own. For her life is not fair, she has every right to own that statement. Yet she doesn't, she puts on a brave face and big smile and is grateful for what time she has left. She is truly an insparation and hero. I could only hope to be half the woman she is.
So, to all of you whiners, I have this to say to you. At least you are not in palliative care waiting for the inevitable, waiting to die. You and your bemoaning about how your life isn't as you planned or how it's not fair, makes me sick. At least you have a life that you can look forward to. Be frigin grateful and stop wasting every one's time and energy complaining.
With much, love, light and gratefulness for my life as it is.
Tammy.
After much consideration of the whiners and complainers I was referring to, my thoughts turned to a remarkable woman I know who in the face of the worse adversity one could imagine, she never complained or whined "oh poor me" at least not out loud and believe me she more than any of us deserve to feel life is not fair.
You see, this woman has in-curable cancer and it has spread to her brain. She is a single mom, with three daughters one who is special needs and she's not going to be around to see them grow up get married and have kids of their own. For her life is not fair, she has every right to own that statement. Yet she doesn't, she puts on a brave face and big smile and is grateful for what time she has left. She is truly an insparation and hero. I could only hope to be half the woman she is.
So, to all of you whiners, I have this to say to you. At least you are not in palliative care waiting for the inevitable, waiting to die. You and your bemoaning about how your life isn't as you planned or how it's not fair, makes me sick. At least you have a life that you can look forward to. Be frigin grateful and stop wasting every one's time and energy complaining.
With much, love, light and gratefulness for my life as it is.
Tammy.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Oh, Cry Me A River.
Wasn't that the song that Susan Boyle sang on England's Got Talent? The song that made her an overnight sensation? I wonder why she chose it, maybe she was tired of listening to someone moan and complain about how their life hadn't turned out as planned. Or maybe she was just really good at singing that particular song.
I'm singing that song these days, I'm listening to people whine and complain about how life isn't going as planned, how it's not fair, who ever, on the face of this planet lead you to believe life was or ever will be fair? Life is what WE make of it, it is our job to live out our days the best we can. We will make good and bad decisions and we will be faced with adversity and desperation. We will also be given the odd break, and win fall, and even then will we be satisfied? Some people are, others, the consummate whiners won't be. Why is that? I think it's because they are never satisfied. They set their standards so high no one will ever live up to them, and therefore will never truly satisfy these sorts. I know far too many individuals who will tell you they are the most caring compassionate loving people they know, yet, they tend to be the ones who are alone. Why? Because they are blind to their very own hypocrisy. They are the ones who destroy relationships, sabotage friendships and to what end? Because they are truly self centered and self serving. And the only way they are truly happy is if they are truly unhappy.
My life isn't perfect, I haven't attained all that I had hoped, but you know what, I'm grateful for what I have, and I'm happy with my decisions. Maybe that's the difference, maybe these types are just plain old un-grateful. You know that old adage, "you've made your own bed now you must lie in it" well these whiners think they are exempt. That some force beyond their control is toying with them making them so very unhappy. Bull-pucky! You are your own worst enemy for even thinking that way. It's your bed, no one elses.
I truly believe in the power of positive thought, and I try my darnedest to employ it on a daily basis, and to voice my gratitude as much as possible. When you put negative thoughts out there in the form of "oh poor me" then you know what you get back, "oh poor you". Suck it up princess and get a grip. There are people in this world I would love to shake some sense into, but I can tell you right now, they will not agree, they need it. They are so oblivious as to how exhausting it is for man kind to listen to them moan and carry on like only their problems matter. It's toxic and likely the cause for the hole in to ozone layer. All kidding aside, they are a toxic bunch and can actually make others physically ill with their negativity.
God forbid, you tell one of these people this, not only will they vehemently deny it, but probably be offended that you would think such a thing of them. After all, lets not forget in their minds, they are the greatest people they know. The really toxic ones though, will fain false modesty in order to win sympathy. They are the wolves in sheep's clothing, the veritable snakes in the grass.
So what do you do? Well, for a while, you may offer a sympathetic ear, but that gets old really fast, and if you're not that invested in the individual you may be able to just walk away. However if you are truly a kind and compassionate soul then you may have a harder time letting them know you're no longer interested in wasting your valuable time and energy on them and well, give them the "it's me, not you" excuse. Which only empowers then further. Next time, be blunt, let them know exactly why your not going to listen to them whine anymore. Maybe that's the shaking they need to snap them out of their self induced misery.
In my lifetime here on this planet, I hope to help those individuals who are sucking the energy out of others realise the errors of their ways, and open their eyes to reality so they may step out of the fantasy world they live in and stop whining about how life is soooo unfair and oh why me and take charge of the life they were handed and make the most of it. You only have one life (if that's what you believe) so treat it like gold, it's precious and it's yours. Stop whining and get on with it. Stop crying your river of tears, get your head out of your butt, and just live!
With much love, light and a wonderful life,
Tammy.
I'm singing that song these days, I'm listening to people whine and complain about how life isn't going as planned, how it's not fair, who ever, on the face of this planet lead you to believe life was or ever will be fair? Life is what WE make of it, it is our job to live out our days the best we can. We will make good and bad decisions and we will be faced with adversity and desperation. We will also be given the odd break, and win fall, and even then will we be satisfied? Some people are, others, the consummate whiners won't be. Why is that? I think it's because they are never satisfied. They set their standards so high no one will ever live up to them, and therefore will never truly satisfy these sorts. I know far too many individuals who will tell you they are the most caring compassionate loving people they know, yet, they tend to be the ones who are alone. Why? Because they are blind to their very own hypocrisy. They are the ones who destroy relationships, sabotage friendships and to what end? Because they are truly self centered and self serving. And the only way they are truly happy is if they are truly unhappy.
My life isn't perfect, I haven't attained all that I had hoped, but you know what, I'm grateful for what I have, and I'm happy with my decisions. Maybe that's the difference, maybe these types are just plain old un-grateful. You know that old adage, "you've made your own bed now you must lie in it" well these whiners think they are exempt. That some force beyond their control is toying with them making them so very unhappy. Bull-pucky! You are your own worst enemy for even thinking that way. It's your bed, no one elses.
I truly believe in the power of positive thought, and I try my darnedest to employ it on a daily basis, and to voice my gratitude as much as possible. When you put negative thoughts out there in the form of "oh poor me" then you know what you get back, "oh poor you". Suck it up princess and get a grip. There are people in this world I would love to shake some sense into, but I can tell you right now, they will not agree, they need it. They are so oblivious as to how exhausting it is for man kind to listen to them moan and carry on like only their problems matter. It's toxic and likely the cause for the hole in to ozone layer. All kidding aside, they are a toxic bunch and can actually make others physically ill with their negativity.
God forbid, you tell one of these people this, not only will they vehemently deny it, but probably be offended that you would think such a thing of them. After all, lets not forget in their minds, they are the greatest people they know. The really toxic ones though, will fain false modesty in order to win sympathy. They are the wolves in sheep's clothing, the veritable snakes in the grass.
So what do you do? Well, for a while, you may offer a sympathetic ear, but that gets old really fast, and if you're not that invested in the individual you may be able to just walk away. However if you are truly a kind and compassionate soul then you may have a harder time letting them know you're no longer interested in wasting your valuable time and energy on them and well, give them the "it's me, not you" excuse. Which only empowers then further. Next time, be blunt, let them know exactly why your not going to listen to them whine anymore. Maybe that's the shaking they need to snap them out of their self induced misery.
In my lifetime here on this planet, I hope to help those individuals who are sucking the energy out of others realise the errors of their ways, and open their eyes to reality so they may step out of the fantasy world they live in and stop whining about how life is soooo unfair and oh why me and take charge of the life they were handed and make the most of it. You only have one life (if that's what you believe) so treat it like gold, it's precious and it's yours. Stop whining and get on with it. Stop crying your river of tears, get your head out of your butt, and just live!
With much love, light and a wonderful life,
Tammy.
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