What Does It Mean To You?

So Christmas has come and gone and for all the stressing I did before hand it really wasn't anything more or less than I expected.



This year for the first time since I've been back in BC my parents were able to be here for Christmas, that was nice, for me, for the kids and for them. They brought with them their two little dogs one is 8 months the other 3 months both Shi-tzu Poodle crosses, and soooo cute. Add to that my partners brother came for Christmas as well from out of town with his dog, a 4 year old pointer. So we had, for Christmas morning (our Christmas was on the 24th) 5 kids, 5 adults, 5 dogs and one cat who I'm sure thinks he's in the wrong house. It was chaotic but that's Christmas.



We had my partners mom and aunt along with his dad for dinner that evening and we managed to pull it off, it was good. But as the days have passed I can't help but feel that I have missed the point. I know what Christmas is about, I just wonder were it went? What I mean is, for all the stressing about making sure the kids had their lists fulfilled and all the prep that goes into pulling off the perfect (or as close to as humanly possible) Christmas dinner what does it really mean to me?



When I was a kid my parents always made sure my sister and I got our one "big" gift and a bunch of little ones, as I grew up the quantity changed and that was fine, we were taught to be grateful for what we received and we were. When I moved to Toronto my mom and dad would fly me home every other year and would come to Toronto on the years I wasn't coming home, it never happened that I was without family for Christmas, and for me that is so important.



When I moved back to Vancouver it was much easier to get home for Christmas, and I went often. The last time I went home for Christmas was in 1996 when I was pregnant with my daughter, I have not been to my parents house for Christmas since then. My ex hated the 7 hour drive to the small northern BC city were they live, and he loathed being there for any amount of time. Year after year I would try to convince him to drive up and year after year he would come up with reasons as to why we couldn't. So my mom and dad would make the drive south and whether it was just before or just after the 25th we would make our own Christmas with them and the kids.



Now that my ex and I are separated I don't foresee going to my parents for Christmas any year soon because of the shared holiday, unless I could convince him to fore go Christmas with the kids we will be home bound until the kids have left the nest. So it's nice that my parents were able to come for Christmas. More so now because my dad is retired and the prospect of loosing overtime for not being available to work over the holidays is no longer an issue, I'm happy to have them.



I would hope that I can instill in my kids that Christmas is not about what you get but who you spend it with. That family is far more important than any toy or trinket that will last until the next trend. Family will always be the most important gift any time of the year, but just a little more at Christmas. So when I hear my kids complaining about what they got or didn't get, it's hard not to feel that maybe I haven't done a very good job teaching them that Christmas is not about the gifts, but the gift of spending precious time with family.



So for me Christmas means spending time with loved ones, and not how much was spent on that latest gadget on the endless lists from hopeful children. That, all the stress and preparation that goes into one day is far less important than the people you are spending the day with. Yet I stress and prepare and fulfill lists the best I can and sit and wonder what it's all about. I know next year we will do this all again, and there may or may not be as many people or dogs but the stress and prep will be the same, and when it's all done and the dust has settled, I will probably ponder the same question. I already know the answer I always have.



When my kids are grown and have families of their own, I hope they will carry on the tradition of big family Christmases and that the gifts they buy their kids do not replace what I have tried to instill in them that Christmas is about so, so much more. That would be my most cherished gift.



So what does Christmas mean to me? One word, family.



With much love, light and a very Merry Christmas,

Tammy.